WANT to celebrate International Women’s Day but what do women even think’s so good about them anyway? Sensible, objective man James Bates explains:
Make it all about you
International Women’s Day recognises the achievements of women. And that’s lovely. But representation matters, and the lack of male voices is discrimination against the bloke. Speak up about this injustice. Ladies love a fella who fights for what’s right.
Buy them a little something
Big days like this always come with the expectation of gifts. A bottle of perfume or a trip to the spa should keep the little woman happy for a few hours. At the very least slip them a fiver so they can buy themselves make-up. That’ll stop all this nonsense about the gender wage gap.
Seeing as all things women are in the news today, step in with your explanation of feminism. Most women don’t know it was invented in 1970 by Germaine Greer, who’s been cancelled now so logically there is no feminism. But apparently we’re in its fourth wave? I mean how many waves do you need?
Think of all the women who have inspired you
The world is full of great women. Nikki who I worked with was brilliant and we were an amazing team, until I got promoted because I got credit for all her work and she got made redundant. Today I’ll be taking a few minutes to think about her. Hope she learned to speak out and she’s girlbossing it up somewhere.
Nod and smile
Done all of the above? If so you’ve probably learnt that us blokes can’t seem to do anything right, least of all on International Women’s Day. Your best bet is to remain silent, look agreeable and run out the clock. Before long it’ll be tomorrow, and you’ll go back to passively benefiting from living in a patriarchal society.