A REPORT has suggested that the idea of ‘white privilege’ is holding white children back. This is probably bollocks, but why not get angry about it anyway? Here’s how.
Blame all your problems on anti-white prejudice
Do you work in a tedious office instead of, say, being a billionaire with a big, tacky yacht? This is clearly due to people pointing out that racial discrimination is a thing, and not your mediocre GCSE results.
Ignore the obvious benefits of being white
You can drive a BMW without endless police stops. You can go on public transport without some wanker telling you to ‘go home’ despite the fact you were born in Worcestershire. ‘Count your blessings’ is the sort of trite rubbish your mum comes out with, but sometimes it’s true.
Furiously go on Twitter
Don’t bother to consider the whole issue, just type nonsense like ‘When will us Angle Saxons be treated equelly in are own country?’ It’s a proven fact that the most effective way to improve your life – and society in general – is to rant about something on the endless hate-filled snake pit that is Twitter.
Believe everything you read
Culture war bullshit is clearly beneficial to the Tories and newspapers who want clicks. Don’t think about this. Instead assume every media story is 100 per cent true, eg. schools are going to ban The Very Hungry Caterpillar for not being a Rastafarian because some strange Tory MP said so.
Don’t do anything constructive
F**k that. Don’t help your kids with their homework. Instead nurture a deep sense of grievance that you’re being persecuted for being white when your biggest actual real-life problem is needing to get your boiler serviced.