FOOTBALL will only be able to return to its country of origin if guaranteed a highly-skilled job worth £47,110 a year, the home secretary has confirmed.
Patel dashed the hopes and dreams of England supporters by revealing that football’s return to its homeland will be subject to a hostile environment and points-based immigration system.
She said: “We are a sovereign nation. Football chose to establish itself overseas and must face the consequences. If it wants to live here then it has to earn its keep.
“It must meet the salary and skills threshold, have a exemplary credit history, show a commitment to learning English and possess a clean criminal record. And frankly it doesn’t.
“I’m told it is a British-born subject, but the Windrush rules apply and without a birth certificate or passport we’ll have no choice but to deport football to Spain, Germany or Brazil where it has strong national ties.”
Patel added: “If football attempts to sneak home we will locate it and I get to watch it being dragged into a van while smirking in an embroidered jacket. That’s my favourite part of the job.”
