FOND memories of the golden age of MTV? Wrong. It was full of wild and terrible shite like this:
Dancing in the Street – David Bowie and Mick Jagger
Generations raised in the 80s thought Bowie and Jagger were uncool twats for decades after this. Rock royalty should be too big to fail, but prancing like drunken uncles at a wedding in a blouse and a leopardskin jumpsuit with trenchcoat did what cocaine, Nazi salutes and Altamont couldn’t. Disturbing, batshit and humanising.
Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Me – Oingo Boingo
A man gets out of a bath that immediately sets on fire. A small person sits in a crib dressed as a baby. Three singing heads are served up on a platter for three women with awful hair. It’s a four-minute, low-budget David Lynch film but shown to kids during the day.
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) – Dead or Alive
It’s nice to think someone heard this song and realised the music video had to be the band on a lazy Susan being slowly wrapped in toilet paper. Pete Burns dancing around in purple pyjamas and an eyepatch solidifies its status as the kind of video you have unsettling dreams about being trapped in.
Can’t Fight This Feeling – REO Speedwagon
What could be a touching tale of growing up being watched over by a mediocre 80s soft rock band is made downright weird by the inclusion of some dire special effects, including a JPEG of a candle floating out of a window and a man opening shutters, seeing a host of static-faced people and smiling approvingly.
Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart
During this wildly overwrought power ballad, Bonnie remembers her time teaching at a mental asylum which had been turned into a boarding school for possessed children with glowing eyes. A commonplace experience of the times, though f**k all to do with the actual song.