MILLIONS of Britons are taking pills at work to commemorate the life of ‘godfather of ecstasy’ Alexander Shulgin.
Chemist Shulgin, who died a year ago today, was instrumental in developing the drug that made repetitive dance music and stupid hats accessible to heterosexual white people.
David Cameron said: “Ecstasy changed British culture forever, making football hooligans hug and launching highly profitable dance clubs that pretended to have a no-drugs policy.
“So it is only fitting that we should all get on one today. I double dropped fluffy old school White Callies shortly before making this speech.
“I feel nice, not sexual but loving with a warm body buzz.”
Sales supervisor Nikki Hollis said: “Normally I hate my job but today we’ve made a nest out of everyone’s coats and are lying on it listening to The Orb.
“The phones are ringing but nobody cares because it doesn’t matter.”