Today to feel like Wednesday

THE whole of Monday is to feel deceptively like a Wednesday, forecasters have warned.

Across the UK, people are expected to repeatedly think that they have broken the back of the week when in reality it still stretches out ahead of them.

The misconception is caused by an unusual high pressure system in the Atlantic which has pushed into Britain from the west, leaving Scandinavia with the sense of two consecutive Mondays.

Forecaster Helen Archer said: “These feelings will persist throughout the day, causing confusion and fear.

“You will go from the painful lunchtime realisation that you can’t justify breaking your diet, to the evening disappointment when you sit down with your massive cake to watch the Bake-Off and it doesn’t fucking happen.”