Toddler blissfully unaware he is called Roderick

A TWO-YEAR-OLD boy is still not aware that his parents have ruined his life by calling him Roderick.

Playing happily at nursery, Roderick Logan is yet to grasp the fact that everyone he introduces himself to for the next seven decades will either stifle giggles or openly laugh.

Nursery nurse Emma Bradford said: “At this age children barely acknowledge each others’ existence and are only beginning to talk, so his peers are ignorant of his shame. He should enjoy this while he can.

“When the best you can hope for is to be called Rod then your life’s going to be nothing but humiliation and torment between nursery and nursing home.

“I suppose the mockery could spur him on to be a real high achiever, desperate to prove the playground taunts wrong, but honestly? He’s already too much of a Roderick for that.”

Father Tom Logan said: “It doesn’t even run in the family. We just tried too hard to be different and now it’s too late to admit we’re wrong.

“My little boy. You’re going to hate me so, so much.”

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Another 12 seasons of this and you’re fired, board warns Wenger

ARSENE Wenger has been warned that he has until 2029 to win the Premier League or face the consequences.

Arsenal chief executive Ivan Gazidis said: “The club cannot go on like this. We need change and we need it within the next decade and a bit.

“Otherwise, difficult as it would be to dismiss a 79-year-old with his best years in management still ahead of him, Mr Wenger could find himself looking for a new job.”

But fan Norman Steele said: “This short-termist hire-and-fire mentality is everything that is wrong with modern football.

“Wenger needs time to build a team, then build another team.

“Then build a team again.”