Unwary traveller falls into ‘super unleaded’ trap

A CARELESS driver has accidentally bought the more expensive type of petrol.

Mother-of-two Susan Traherne inadvertently filled her car with ‘super unleaded’ because petrol pump designers have made that quite easy to do.

She said: “Clearly, given the choice between two types of fuel that would both make my car go, I wanted the cheaper one. Not ‘Mega Nitro Power Plus Bullshit Petrol’.

“But when you’re in a hurry sometimes you do really stupid things.

“It’s worst than putting in diesel by mistake because at least that’s pure stupidity rather than being manipulated by corporate cunning. I’ll be pissed off about this for at least three days.”

Recent data shows that no driver has ever bought super unleaded on purpose.

However garage owner Nathan Muir said: “Super unleaded is great, it makes your car go fast like a racing car.

“And for men, it can add two inches to your penis if you drink it.”

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Porn magazines to focus on car articles that are real reason people buy them

ADULT magazines are to stop publishing nude pictures after readers demanded more lengthy articles about car engines.

After Playboy announced that it was dropping pictures of naked women, Knave and Razzle followed suit after realising their readership does not masturbate and is only in it for the features on vehicles and cocktail making.

Lorry driver Roy Hobbs, who buys a range of porn magazines depending on which garage he visits, said: “I love the insightful pieces about luxury cars and boats, as well as the horoscopes and the inevitable article comparing George Best to Pele.

“It’s a shame one always has to wade through pages and pages of naked women in lewd poses to get to the proper journalism.

“Clearly the publishers think I am some kind of pervert.”

39-year-old Playboy subscriber Tom Logan said: “This is a shrewd move by Playboy that will finally see it ranked alongside New Scientist as the magazine for potential Nobel prize winners.

“Although sometimes the saucy photo shoots do catch my eye, purely from an art direction point of view. Perhaps they could still have the odd one with Penelope Cruz in bondage gear taking a panther for a walk along a beach, because that would be tasteful.”