A DICKHEAD does not understand why women keep dumping him.
Marketing executive Tom Logan cannot understand why women keep dumping him despite constantly doing things that are insensitive, selfish or just weird.
Friend Martin Bishop said: “Tom always comes to me for advice when he’s been chucked, then reveals he’s done something dickish like saying he prefers women with larger breasts.
“I felt really sorry for him when Emma dumped him but it turned out he’d always leave immediately after having sex and go back to his own flat for ‘a proper night’s kip’.
“He used to treat another girlfriend as a free taxi service, and would make her watch Jason Statham films at the cinema.”
Logan said: “I’ve had a lot of bad luck with relationships, like Suzi who wouldn’t lend me £3,000 to buy a car even though we could have done romantic things like stopping for sex on long, boring journeys.
“Part of the problem is that I’m too sensitive. If someone’s got issues like being stressed at work or a bereavement I can’t listen to them because it makes me too sad.
“I’d definitely be up for a threesome if someone offered to buy me a Playstation.”