THE GCSE examinations are taking place, and around Britain tens of thousands are doing everything possible not to revise for them. What’s your avoidance strategy?
Lucy Parry, student: “I’ve created a colour-coded revision timetable that breaks down the next month hour-by-hour. Then I decided that wasn’t enough so I’ve done another that’s minute-by-minute. But that lacks precision, so the one I’m working on now does the seconds.”
Jordan Gardner, student: “My strategy is that because I failed them last year I’m doing them again, but this time I know the questions.”
Olly O’Connor, student: “No qualification is worth wasting the glory days of my youth. So I’m hanging out with my mates by the swings smoking shit weed.”
Sophie Rodriguez, student: “I’m moderating a GCSE Revision WhatsApp group which has grown to encompass 146 schools, more than 4,000 members and on which teenage drama rages like a wildfire night after night. It’s a real time-sink.”
Martin Bishop, facilities manager: “By being 44, chiefly.”
