TRUMP’S war with Iran is jeopardising supplies of the planet-destroying fuel we all love. So how are you marking the end of plentiful oil?
Kelly Howard, radiographer: “I’m pushing a barrel to the top of a hill in a wheelbarrow to watch a sunset together. Even in these final days you can make beautiful memories.”
James Bates, plasterer: “By spilling industrial quantities of it into the sea for old times’ sake. Plus it gives those animal rescue dossers something to do.”
Bill McKay, stockbroker: “Enjoying it while it lasts. I’ve oiled all the hinges in our house, last night my wife and I had a romantic bath in petrol, and on Sunday we’re taking the kids for a fun-filled day at diesel-fired Lerwick Power Station.”
Lucy Parry, unemployed: “I’m in denial. And when it’s finally gone I’ll get into a toxic rebound relationship with nuclear energy.”
Francesca Johnson, florist: “Oil will never truly be gone. It will live on in our hearts and the irreparable damage we’ve done to the environment.”
