Welsh colleague not enjoying England games for some reason

A WELSH football fan seems unwilling to join in with the English celebrations during the World Cup, leaving co-workers baffled.

Rhys Llewelyn-Jones accompanied a group of work mates to watch England play but seemed oddly less than jubilant when the Three Lions were victorious.

Stephen Malley said: “Strangely Rhys doesn’t appear to be enjoying England’s run at all. He tends to watch the games in stony silence except for when he accidentally cheers when the opposing team has a good chance. 

“He does talk a lot about being Welsh, but surely Wales is just part of England really isn’t it? Like a county or something.

“Although when I made that point Rhys didn’t seem to happy and started muttering in another language, I guess it was French.”

Llewelyn-Jones has confided to close friends that his bags and packed and resignation note written so that if England do lift the trophy on Sunday he can drive straight to the airport to emigrate.

Rhys Llewelyn-Jones said: “It’s nothing personal but I’d rather North Korea won the World Cup.

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I know how you feel Boris, by Mr Blobby

DEAR Boris, I too am a bulbous pink figure with a toothy grin who went from media darling to widely despised irritant.

I know how you feel because like me you are a misunderstood comic genius. But a double act can only be as good as its stooge and fuck me did we have to carry a load with Edmonds and May. 

There is no room for ‘needless self doubt’ in our type of comedy. Do you think I could stamp on an overstuffed suitcase with anything other than total commitment? You were the same. You hung onto the Brexit dream with the same conviction I would trash a tea-party, knowing the chaos it would cause but sticking with it because it’s bloody hilarious.

That said, I have to admit Brexit doesn’t make business sense to me. Benny Hill travelled incredibly well on the continent and historically Europeans can’t get enough of the clumsy antics of a portly English twit. But anyway.

Let’s not be maudlin, let’s revel in the unabashed self-promotion we used to get to the near-top, the kids we bulldozed, the absolute shit storm we caused. Know this Boris, there’s one person who gets you, one person still laughing, albeit in a terrifying electronically modified voice, me, your friend Mr Blobby.