Monday, 19th April 2021

'What nationality are all these racists then?' wonders confused Briton

A PUZZLED Briton is wondering, since the UK has been cleared of racism, where all these racists he keeps meeting are from. 

Courier Tom Booker was initially relieved that the Commission on Race and Ethnic Disparities believed Britain was a ‘model for other white-majority countries’, but then began wondering how that explained all the racists.

He said: “They certainly seem British. They’ve got British accents and everything. But according to this report, they can’t be.

“They’re definitely from a white, English-speaking country because they’re aggrieved at the very suggestion they could speak another language. But which one?

“Are they Canadians who’ve sneaked in on false visas, flawlessly mimicking our Yorkshire accents and style of dress? Are they Australians who like their racism tea-sipping and genteel?

“Either way there’s loads of them and they’ve infiltrated this country at every level, from the lowest baseball-capped street-corner scumbag to our great institutions of law and learning to the very corridors of power.

“Bloody immigrants coming over here, making our country racist. We should kick them all out.”