PEOPLE who drink sherry after a vigorous afternoon of paintball have demanded a tax cut.
They claim the Chancellor has ignored them in favour of sedentary leisure pursuits and alcoholic liquids served through a pump.
Martin Bishop, from Peterborough, said: Im a hardworking person and paintballing and sherry are the only two things I enjoy. Obviously Im not that hardworking otherwise it would just be bingo, bingo, bingo.
Nevertheless, when I remove my paint-spattered body armour and grab my bottle of Croft Original I am being as British and decent as anyone.
Why is it always the stereotypes who get everything their own way?
There was also anger from people who race ride-on lawnmowers while drinking mead.
Nathan Muir, from Hatfield, said: There is nothing quite like the thrill of taking a sharp bend atop a Toro DH220 while trying not to spill your mead. It should be affordable to all the hardworking types.
Economist Julian Cook said: Paintballing and lawnmower racing do not have the same mass brainwashing potential as The Bingo.
Also, I suspect the government is trying to create a Nazi-like force of beer swilling, brown-shirted grandmothers.