Where’s our tax cut? ask paintballing sherry enthusiasts

PEOPLE who drink sherry after a vigorous afternoon of paintball have demanded a tax cut.

Paintball, sherry and a bag of chips on the way home

Paintball, sherry and a bag of chips on the way home

They claim the Chancellor has ignored them in favour of sedentary leisure pursuits and alcoholic liquids served through a pump.

Martin Bishop, from Peterborough, said: “I’m a hardworking person and paintballing and sherry are the only two things I enjoy. Obviously I’m not that hardworking otherwise it would just be bingo, bingo, bingo.

“Nevertheless, when I remove my paint-spattered body armour and grab my bottle of Croft Original I am being as British and decent as anyone.

“Why is it always the stereotypes who get everything their own way?”

There was also anger from people who race ride-on lawnmowers while drinking mead.

Nathan Muir, from Hatfield, said: “There is nothing quite like the thrill of taking a sharp bend atop a Toro DH220 while trying not to spill your mead. It should be affordable to all the hardworking types.”

Economist Julian Cook said: “Paintballing and lawnmower racing do not have the same mass brainwashing potential as The Bingo.

“Also, I suspect the government is trying to create a Nazi-like force of beer swilling, brown-shirted grandmothers.”