Saturday, 26th September 2020

White Lives Matter supporter has zero examples of what the f**k he's on about

A MAN asked to explain what the phrase ‘white lives matter’ means was unable to give any explanation that was not bullshit. 

Martin Bishop has started saying it regularly, but when questioned by friend Tom Logan could not give specific examples of white people being in danger.

Logan said: “Martin’s been on about white lives mattering for a couple of weeks, and that wanker who chartered a plane with a banner has just made him worse. 

“I suppose he could be referring to the violence suffered by white farmers in South Africa and Zimbabwe, but the only time he’s mentioned Africa before was when we were talking about Lynx deodorant.

“He totally failed to come up with examples of white British people being persecuted. He wasn’t even clear about who would be doing it. I’m as white as a Warburtons loaf, but I’m starting to think ‘white lives matter’ may be bollocks.”

However Bishop said: “White Lives Matter is about old sitcoms not being banned and statues no one had heard of before not being respected. Seems like a pretty clear threat to me. 

“It’s definitely not being racist in a weird, sneaky way. All I’m trying to do is protect our culture of Basil Fawlty and chips.”