Woman doesn’t need to be drunk to send text messages she regrets

A WOMAN who is always impulsively sending embarrassing text messages lacks the excuse of being pissed, it has emerged.

Donna Sheridan, 31, has sent nude pictures to her mum, paranoid accusations to her boss and needy outpourings of love to her ex-boyfriend, all without drinking anything stronger than a cup of tea.

Sheridan said: “Most people do this sort of thing when they’ve drunk three bottles of cheap white wine and vomited their critical faculties into their handbag.

“But I do it on an almost daily basis, usually as a result of being so lazy that I can’t be bothered to focus properly on the screen and see who I’m sending it to. I feel hideously embarrassed afterwards, but I don’t know how to stop myself.”

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Life was much better in the olden days when the amount of people able to talk bollocks to you was limited to those within walking distance of your house.”