WOMEN across Britain are to endure a Valentine’s date because it is in a restaurant.
The nation’s females have admitted that the one day of the year they tolerate more than an hour of male company is based purely on a desire to eat.
Jane Thomson, from Guildford, said: “I’m tired and pissed off and I just want to sink my teeth into a dirty big steak.
“A nice creamy sauce, some big fat chips and a bottle of Cote de Rhone all to myself.
“Get out of my way.”
Alison Harper, from Stevenage, added: “Last year I played along with the Valentine’s horseshit for about an hour and a half, but when the pudding arrived I just told him to shut up or leave.”