FIFTIES-STYLE sexpots with dirty laughs and enormous bangers are ideal role models for young women, according to the government’s equalities minister.
Lynne Featherstone, who many believe is actually be Reg Varney in a fright wig, believes women should emulate Christina Hendricks’s Mad Men retro-slut filth bomb character Joan Holloway.
She said: “Women are under increasing pressure to be thin, flat-chested shrews, who don’t sit on the corners of desks in very short skirts, nibbling the ends of pencils in a deliberately coquettish manner that leaves a smudge of ruby-red lipstick on the tip.
“It also saddens me that many girls of this generation are afraid to laugh exaggeratedly at the poor quality jokes of their older, married male superiors, possibly throwing back their heads as they do so to draw attention to their vast, heaving, milky-white decolletage.
“That’s how you get on in life.”
The minister’s comments have drawn a mixed response from normal people whose jobs involve doing something other than saying the first thing that pops into your head.
Man, Tom Logan, said: “I have absolutely no problem with very, very, very, hot buxom women. They really are excellent.
“I’m just not sure I need a taxpayer-funded third party to relay this information back to me.”
Teacher, Helen Archer, said: “Like most women, I’d look pretty much the same as Christina Hendricks if I just let myself go a bit. It’s really liberating to have such an attainable goal, especially as, being a girl, I think about this sort of shit pretty much all the time.
“Thanks Lynne Featherstone, you fucking halfwit.”