AN OFFICE worker has been furious with his colleagues, clients and all office equipment for seven years straight, it has emerged.
Systems analyst Wayne Hayes has been at the same company for eight years, remaining irritable, impatient and uncommunicative for all of that time.
When not muttering under his breath about the intranet or eating his sandwiches alone in the car park, Hayes is enraged about his portfolio of clients, whom he describes as ‘fuckheads’.
Colleague Nikki Hollis said: “I don’t know what would make him happy. Perhaps an apocalyptic event that destroyed everything on earth except him and his Honda Civic?
“If he doesn’t like it here, why doesn’t he leave? Apart from the obvious, which is that it’s hard to get any sort of job and he must work to keep a roof over his head because he was born into the lower echelons of an inherently unfair society.
“Actually I can sort of see where he’s coming from.”
Co-worker Tom Booker said: “It is shit working here, most of us try to make the best of it but Wayne responds truthfully to his situation like some sweary Buddha. Either that or he’s just a miserable bastard.”