BRITISH workers in need of a pay rise could simply take it by force, it has been claimed.
As the government urged employers to share the spoils of economic recovery, office workers in Sheffield secured a pay rise simply by pinning their boss to the ground.
Administrator Tom Booker said: “I asked for a below-inflation pay rise and he said ‘we’ll see about next year, things have been a bit tough’. Which is weird because he bought his wife a new Mercedes coupe last month.
“A bunch of us were chatting and we were like, he’s not physically strong and there’s loads of us.
“We just pinned him to the floor and threatened to drop a printer on his head. Pretty much straight away he said we could all have a pay rise.
“Obviously the money was there all along. People soon change their minds when it looks like you are going to kill them.”
Booker’s colleague Julian Cook said: “It was like Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but with people instead of apes.
“I would recommend staging a workplace revolution. No boss can really tell the police because they all break the law on a regular basis.
“Best of the all the drinks machine is on permanent free vend now – even for soup which was previously 80p.”