World’s Second Greatest Dad mugs this year’s big seller

CHILDREN are celebrating Father’s Day with gifts that admit their dads are deeply flawed people who are trying their best.

Mugs which proclaim a dad is not the best in the world, but at least ranks in the top 100, reject hyperbole in favour of clear-eyed realism.

Manufacturer Joseph Turner said: “Originally we created the World’s Second Greatest Dad mugs for children with two fathers – either because of divorce or homosexuality – who wanted to play them off against each other as part of some sick little game.

“But instead they’ve been huge sellers to children who want to use crockery as a way of conveying disappointment.”

Other mugs available include World’s Greatest Dad In My Subjective Experience, Definitely In The Top 50 Per Cent Of World Dads, and When I Read About Some Dads I Realise You Could Have Been Worse.

Joanna Kramer, from Stevenage, said: “I got my dad a chocolate beer mug with ‘Dad’ iced on it last year – not even his name, just ‘Dad’ – which I thought would convey my lukewarm feelings.

“But he acted like he was King Shit, so this year I’ve got him a mug saying World’s Greatest Dad If 2.2 Billion Better Qualified Candidates Are Overlooked.

“If I sound like an ungrateful, self-absorbed little bitch, it’s because of the way I was brought up.”


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Action film starring 71 year-old man hits snag

THE producers of the new Star Wars film admit they have no idea how long it takes a 71 year-old man to recover from a broken ankle.

As Harrison Ford was hit by a falling door on the set at Pinewood Studios, a spokesman for Disney said: “What do we reckon, a couple of weeks?”

He added: “It does create a degree of uncertainty, but thankfully this will be the last Star Wars film made by and with real people.”

Director JJ Abrams said: “He’s a joy to work with because when he’s on set he genuinely believes he’s Han Solo – or Deckard from Blade Runner, but that’s okay, we can work with that.

“But sometimes, if he hasn’t slept well, he turns up for work thinking he’s Indiana Jones.

“Anyway, the garage door was closing and he tried to dive underneath it, but he wasn’t quick enough and he trapped his foot.

“Luckily he wasn’t wearing his Indy hat. He could have been decapitated.”