SITTING in a cafe with a notepad instead of a computer is the new twatty thing to do, it has been confirmed.
All UK cafes now have at least one person staring listlessly at a Mac in them, prompting people at the cutting edge of cool to abandon their laptops for something simpler yet just as annoying.
Self-proclaimed cool person Nikki Hollis said: “There’s something really soulless about looking at a screen when the beautiful world is happening all around you, which is why I’ve opted for this charming retro style of recording my important thoughts.
“Having not actually written anything down for several years, my handwriting is comparable to that of a troubled six-year-old, but I find that it gives it a sense of childlike wonder.
“I really love going back to basics, and for me writing a blog about internet marketing techniques in longhand has a beautiful authenticity to it.
“It’s a massive waste of time because I still have to type it all up and email it to my boss when I get home, but I know I look winsome and cute chewing on a pen, which is something that you can’t really do with a laptop.
“I know. I’ve tried.”