‘You moved slightly, so that means we’re going for a walk’ says ridiculously excited dog

A DOG is absurdly optimistic that his owner shifting slightly on the sofa means a long, exciting walk is imminent.

Border collie Brian has not given up hope – no matter how many times his owners are simply re-orgainsing their buttocks – that it will lead to a three-hour walk, possibly involving a stick and a mysterious adventure in a cave.

He said: “They’re moving. This is it this is it this is it – oh. No, just scratching their arse.

“Still, with that out of the way, I’m confident it’ll be well worth me jumping up like a nutter the next time, because I know I won’t be disappointed.

“I’d better make sure I’m ready because it really could be any minute now. In fact I think – yes – Yes! I’m up! It’s happening! This is going to be the walk of the century!

“Oh no. Scratching their arse again.”