£45m death machine used for killing people

A MASSIVE helicopter armed with machine guns, missiles and rocket launchers has been used to kill people, it has emerged.

This one has a big smiley face

This one has a big smiley face

Prince Harry confirmed that the £45m Apache attack helicopter, given to him for his 25th birthday, has done exactly what it was supposed to do.

He said: “You take a life to save a life. It’s tremendously enjoyable.”

Death consultant Martin Bishop said: “The Apache carries something called a 30mm chain gun which will make a hole in your face the size of an apple. It’s the first thing they show a trainee pilot, at which point he starts panting like a cartoon dog.

“The Apache also has ‘Hellfire’ anti-tank missiles, 70mm unguided rockets and Stinger air-to-air missiles. None of these are used to drop leaflets about democracy.”

Bishop added: “If Prince Harry had failed to kill anyone with his Apache it would have led to a renewed debate about the dangers of royal inbreeding.”

The prince is now on his way back to the UK where he will begin his search for a new hobby.

He has set up a team to research ways in which he can continue to kill people legally or secretly.

A source said: “He loves the idea of taking his Apache for a spin over the centre of Bristol, but someone would probably notice that.

“I suspect he will spend the next 12 months accidentally shooting hunt sabs and forcing cyclists into ravines.”