France Warns Of War With Iran Not Involving France

THE rest of the world could soon be embroiled in a war with Iran, the French foreign minister has warned.

Bernard Kouchner said that in the event of conflict over Iran's nuclear programme, the United States and Britain would enjoy the full moral support of the French people.

"War is a terrible thing, which is why we prefer to avoid it," said Kouchner. "But for other countries it is often unavoidable and when that happens we will be there to wish them the very best of luck."

Kouchner said the easing of tensions with North Korea proved that diplomacy can work as long as it goes hand-in-hand with the threat of a war not involving France.

He added: "We urged the Americans to be tough with North Korea and assured them that if the situation did escalate we would be on the end of the phone, day or night. If necessary we would come over with a delicious pie."

Kouchner provoked a row last month when he accused the Iraqi government of being in disarray and insisted the country was still far too dangerous for French troops.

Meanwhile Iran has denied developing nuclear weapons, insisting it was only enriching uranium as part of its Duke of Edinburgh Award.

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Opal Fruits Count Towards Five-A-Day, Confirm Experts

DIETARY experts have moved to end confusion over healthy eating by confirming that a packet of Opal Fruits does count towards the five-a-day target.

A survey by the British Association of Diet, Food, Lifestyle and Performance (BADFLAP) found that more than 80% of people had forgotten how to eat.

Dr Wayne Hayes, head of research at BADFLAP, said: "People are becoming more confused about what food actually is.

"About a fifth of our respondents had been eating nothing but housebricks after reading an article in the Radio Times.

"More than half had no idea that you can get your five-a day from vitamin-packed superfoods like Opal Fruits or blackcurrant Chewits."

Dr Hayes added: "The elements of a healthy diet are very simple: peanut butter, sausages, chewy sweets, Bailey's Irish Cream and a deep-fried egg."

He stressed that high-calorie foods such as housebricks, paving slabs or large chunks of industrial plastic are fine, but only as an occasional treat.

"It's actually very dangerous to remove paving slabs from your diet altogether," said Dr Hayes.

"You'll feel listless, you'll smell like a badger and you'll have to transform your workspace into a high-performance toilet."