Nuclear Submarine Found On Train

THE government faced fresh embarrassment last night after a Vanguard class nuclear submarine was found on board a commuter train.

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A junior Cabinet Office official has been suspended, while home secretary Jacqui Smith has been told to hand back her keys to the Tower of London.

HMS Vengeance was discovered by Julian Cook, a trainee solicitor, during his 45 minute journey from Luton to Kings Cross ThamesLink. Mr Cook immediately handed the vessel, and its 135 crew, to the BBC.

He said: "I was actually going to the toilet when I noticed the aisle was blocked by 16,000 tonnes of ocean-going holocaust machine.

"The moment we arrived at Kings Cross I dragged it onto the tube and headed straight for Shepherd's Bush."

After confirming it was a genuine submarine the BBC immediately contacted the Press Association who in turn passed it on to the editor of The Spectator.

The submarine was eventually handed back to the Royal Navy by the assistant features editor of Grazia.

The latest security breach comes just 48 hours after the aircraft carrier HMS Invincible was hijacked by a pack of dogs.

Meanwhile Al Qaeda has released a statement via Al Jazeera TV, outlining plans to shift its international HQ to the 7.45 from Croydon to Victoria.