Thousands dead in Bannockburn re-enactment

OVER 5,000 people have been killed in a faithful re-enactment of the Battle of Bannockburn.

Several hundred more fatalities are expected over the next few days, as survivors succumb to gangrene and dysentery.

History enthusiasts descended on Stirling to commemorate the battle’s seven hundredth anniversary by dressing in medieval costumes, getting tanked up on mead, and hacking one another to death.

Medieval buff Tom Logan said: “It’s great because the number of people who died corresponded almost exactly with the real battle.

“I love learning about early fourteenth-century battle tactics, and then using that knowledge to stab people with pikes in a historically accurate way.”

Spectator Emma Bradford said: “We put a helmet on my youngest and let her stab a wounded longbowman in the throat, which beats another Dora the Explorer marathon all ends up.”