Absolute arsehole brings in nice pack lunch every day

AN ARSEHOLE is upsetting his colleagues by bringing a really lovely packed lunch into work everyday.

With multiple Tupperware boxes containing delicious homemade meals, Martin Bishop makes whatever his colleagues are eating look ‘totally wank’.

Colleague Wayne Hayes said: “Every time he pops out a homemade Keralan curry or wonderfully fresh, organic salad, it just reminds me that my life is a chaotic mess.

“His dishes perfume the air. I put my value beef lasagne in the office microwave and it smelt like I’d heated up a pair of underpants.

“Just go to Tesco Metro and get a depressing meal deal like the rest of us you absolute fucker.”

Hayes added: “He’s probably having regular sex as well.”