Monday, 8th March 2021

Key workers to be called low-skilled workers again by Easter

WORKERS in essential services will be downgraded from heroes to low-skilled by Easter if vaccinations continue at their current rate, it has been confirmed. 

Supermarket staff, care home workers, nurses, teachers, and delivery drivers will once again be unappreciated, undervalued and ignored by the British public.

Co-op worker Donna Sheridan said: “I can’t wait. Being shown a modicum of respect just underlined just how bad the situation was.

“Obviously we never got a penny more for putting our lives on the line, which was a great relief, but when that unspoken thanks in our customers’ eyes vanishes and they’re looking straight through us again, the world’s back to normal.

“Hopefully within the year the Tories will be cutting our in-work benefits to balance the books and this long nightmare of respect and gratitude will be over.”

Professor Chris Whitty said: “The moment you get your jab, the person doing it stops being a hero and starts being a low-paid worker you glare at for hurting your arm.

“They should really be better at it, all their years at medical school. The sooner we privatise the NHS the better. Next slide.”