Lanyard powerless outside corporate realm

A CORPORATE worker is beginning to realise that her lanyard wields no power in the outside world.

While the length of ribbon with an access pass on the end bestows great authority on her within work, middle manager Francesca Johnson is frustrated that it does not apply outside of it.

She said: “I display this symbol of dominance with my power suit jacket open, so underlings can clearly see the word ‘senior’ in my job title.

“On days when I need to assert myself with extra confidence I wear my hair in a high pony and it swishes in perfect harmony with my lanyard as I stride through the security gates and into a meeting.

“However, for some reason it didn’t wield the same power in M&S yesterday lunchtime, when I held the lanyard up in the self-scan area, saying ‘I require a till, I’m very busy’. Instead I was merely tutted at.

“On the other hand, it did work on the tube. I loudly demanded ‘Give me a seat please, I have a lanyard!’ several times, and people got up and moved away.

“I don’t know whether it was because the passengers acknowledged the power of the lanyard or because they were scared of the mad woman on public transport. But, either way, it worked.”

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