Man achieves perfect work-life balance by quitting job

A MAN has achieved the perfect balance between his personal life and professional duties by quitting the latter entirely.

Former marketing supervisor Tom Booker worked out the optimum time for enjoying leisure activities could only be freed up by stopping wearing a suit and going to an office for eight hours a day five times a week.

Booker said: “It’s all about achieving the right balance. And eventually I realised that can’t possibly be done when only doing the stuff you like at evenings and weekends.

“So I walked out, and ever since I’ve found I’ve got so much more time for video games, for hobbies, for long lie-ins and simply for standing out in nature, breathing deeply, centering myself.

“I feel sorry for all of my mates who are too busy to join me because they’re stuck in the rat race. I meet them in the pub on a Wednesday and they’re all work work work and leaving at 10pm. While I’m just totally relaxed.

“People say there are no quick fixes to achieving a harmonious work-life balance, but I’ve proved them totally wrong.

“Try it yourself. There are literally no downsides.”

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Fully-grown adults sign birthday card from dog

A MARRIED couple in their thirties have written their dog’s name in childlike writing in a friend’s birthday card and drawn a paw print next to it. 

Eleanor and Mike Shaw, both civil servants employed in key governmental roles, sign all greetings cards from their French bulldog Coco, but use their left hands ‘so it looks like she could have written it’.

Eleanor commented: “I draw the paw print in purple because that’s her favourite colour.

“All our friends and family know Coco, so if we hadn’t included her in our friend Tom’s birthday card this week, he might have worried she was in a huff with him.

“Which she isn’t. Even though he always sits in her chair.”

Card recipient Tom Logan said: “I think they truly believe the dog would feel left out if she wasn’t included in the card.

“They announced Eleanor’s pregnancy with a picture of Coco wearing a ‘Big sister to be’ jumper. Is it just me or is that insane?”