A MAN who asked whether anyone in the office fancied anything from the shop was left devastated when somebody said they did.
Administrator Joe Turner was popping to the nearby Tesco Express when he asked colleagues if they wanted anything – assuming they would all understand it was a completely hollow, insincere gesture.
But his world was flipped upside down when one, Wayne Hayes, had the audacity to request a can of Diet Coke and a Wispa.
Mr Turner, 35, said: “Everyone’s supposed to know that’s a completely meaningless, insincere question. Of course I wasn’t actually offering to get anyone something from the f**king shop. It’s just one of those things you say to be polite.
“Wayne had the gall to ask for two separate things, like I’m his bloody personal assistant. And the bastard didn’t even have any cash on him. He said he’d pay me back, but I just know I’m never seeing that £1.80 again.
“It’s a flagrant breach of unspoken social rules. It’s like when you ask a mate if they want a hand moving house. You’re not meant to say yes to that sort of thing. It’s just bad manners.”
Hayes said he has no plans to reimburse Turner’s £1.80 for the purchase that same day, despite both men having access to internet banking.
He added: “I know about the unspoken social rules. I know I wasn’t really meant to ask for anything. I just fancied some chocolate and hatched a brilliant, devious plan to save myself a tiny amount of effort.”