EXPERTS have confirmed it is necessary to put on a little show when arriving late for work.
Despite it making no difference to actual lateness, unpunctual individuals still feel the need to walk in hurriedly, roll their eyes and repeatedly check their watch, preferably while tutting.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Entering a packed office at 9.30am is the same whether you walk calmly in or rush to your desk exaggeratedly wiping sweat from your brow.
“However, people still consistently engage in ‘performative lateness’, which does not make them any less tardy, but does publicly demonstrate that they disapprove of their own poor timekeeping.
“Common symptoms include making a furious yet wholly pointless show of rapidly removing your coat, looking annoyed and muttering darkly about violent revenge against Network Rail – not that it would make the service any worse.”
Frequent latecomer Martin Bishop said: “I’m 20 minutes late for a meeting. I could just stroll in nonchalantly, but that wouldn’t be apologetic and British enough so instead I’m jogging up and down the stairs to make them think I’ve run from the station.
“It’s weird because I drove here and this will make me even later. As is my planned comment that using the Circle Line is ‘like getting the last chopper out of Saigon’. I just hope nobody notices this massive iced coffee I stopped for on the way.”