COLLEAGUES in their 50s are making unexplained references to something called Um Bongo triggered by tonight’s England game against DR Congo.
Across the country, workers with greying hair are saying ‘It was the rhino who named it,’ and ’There’s no way we’ll win if they’re fuelled by that tropical nectar,’ to the incomprehension of the young.
Procurement officer Grace Wood-Morris said: “I only asked Dave if he thought we’d win tonight. He began singing a strange song in a deep voice then laughing uncontrollably.
“I thought it was just him, but it’s all of them. They’re listing exotic animals and listing fruits and trying to pair them together? Is this, like, a card game? Can we make them stop?”
Similarly bemused marketing executive Jordan Gardner said: “I asked my boss Darren if Wissa would exploit our weakness at right-back and he grunted. But when Lee in regional sales shouted ‘You can still get it online!’ he ran right over to his PC.
“Eventually they got Justin, who ‘knows the whole thing, it’s his party trick’, to perform a rap which began ‘way down deep in the middle of the Congo’ and got worse from there.
“I judged it to be racist in the extreme, got straight on to HR and he’s been suspended pending an investigation and mandatory sensitivity training.”
Wood-Morris said: “Ah. So we can make them stop.”
