Saturday, 15th August 2020

Woman quits job after getting boss in Secret Santa

A WOMAN has decided it is easier to walk out of her job than to buy a Secret Santa present for her boss. 

Client manager Helen Archer picked boss Joseph Turner, who is known for his big car, fancy things and easily-bruised ego, out of the Secret Santa hat then sat staring blankly at her desk for five minutes before handing in her notice.

She said: “I know a trap when I see one. Quitting is the only way I was getting out of this alive.

“It’s a lose-lose situation. Even if I overspend it’ll still be nothing like the standard he believes himself to deserve. His face was like thunder when he opened that Lindt last year.

“Or I go for a joke gift, watch it fall flat and see everyone sidle away from me as he asks what’s funny about an inflatable sumo suit, then get fired for an ostensibly completely different reason in the New Year.

“I did consider getting him something that would actually hurt him, like a puppy he’d then have to look after or a pair of gardening gloves full of broken glass, but I need a reference. Better this way. Bye everyone.”

The Department for Work and Pensions estimate that Secret Santa costs the economy over £800,000 annually in lost hours due to people quitting rather than buy a colleague a thoughtful gift.