A WOMAN has vowed not to waver in her belief that it is not Christmas until Thursday at the very earliest.
Emma Bradford of Northwich is refusing to acknowledge that the festive season is upon us until the first of December even while her office is bedecked in tinsel and sleigh bells jingle in every song.
She said: “It isn’t that time yet and you can’t make it be. Against the Yuletide I stand firm.
“Come on. There’s a whole month of the bastard coming up. I promise that when the time comes I’ll accept my fate, but let me have these last three days of normality.
“It’s not like there’s anything happening. None of the films are on, Santa’s still chilling at the North Pole, there’s no snow falling, there’s four weeks of work to go. All it means is fairy lights and Sandra’s special playlist on endless rotation. Surely nobody’s hungry for that.
“It’s an ordinary working Monday. We have not yet crossed the line to a winter wonderland of seasonal joy where every heart is gladdened. Hold the line, people.”
Colleague Mary Fisher said: “We’re passing the Celebrations round later, while she’s distracted. If she takes one she’s conceded it’s Christmas.”
