Friday, 29th May 2020

Working mums wondering if they can put children back inside them

WOMEN juggling paid work, childcare and homeschooling are wondering if they can stick their children back into their wombs.

With the burden of domestic chores falling disproportionately on women, many mothers are considering whether to ‘de-birth’ their offspring in order to cope with the demands of the current crisis.

Eleanor Shaw, a marketing consultant, said: “Should I keep doing a shit job at homeschooling and an even shitter job at my actual job, or should I pop Henry and Olivia back up inside me until the global situation calms?

“I love my children but having them on the outside of my body is completely unworkable at the moment.”

Nikki Hollis, a full-time data analyst commented: “As a mum, you constantly fear you’re making the wrong decision for your child by sending them to a school out of catchment or re-wombing them during a pandemic.

“But I brought Lukas into the world, so I should be free to re-ingest and then release him when there are more people on hand to help me.”