One woman’s week, with Karen Fenessey

I hate people who say ‘It’s political correctness gone mad!’ but I think we can all agree it’s true after what’s happened to Silvio Berlusconi.

There was no creepy paedophiliac subtext, no awkward Nazi moments and that Amanda Knox character was apparently miles away at the time. What has happened to innocent fun?

There was a time in my life when I felt the call to politics. I had so many opinions to give and so many people skills that it almost felt like a moral obligation from God. But Christ, am I glad I never went down that route today! In a parallel universe, I’m up against a singsong team of Italian lady judges and Silvio Berlusconi is writing a column about harmless intercourse.

We literally had Bill Clinton hung, drawn and quartered for what happened between him and presidential nympho, Monica Lewinsky, but look how sorry we all are now. It was a very painful time for him and we should be ashamed of ourselves.

And look at dusky Big Brother expert, Tommy Sheridan. He wasn’t even gay but he still went to the clink. He even looks a bit like Silvio. Is it a coincidence?

Lots of people get confused when they think about Silvio Berlusconi because they mistake him for the Pope. But it’s easy to tell the two apart at social engagements as each has a very different car. They also have very distinct duties. While the Pope is forbidden from visiting prostitutes, no-one has actually put that in writing for Silvio. Naturally, this makes him feel insecure and frightened. So at the end of the day we’ve only got ourselves to blame – he’s a man, not a machine.

Meanwhile Italy is angry and there are reports that large groups of women have gone Egyptian and held street events. But if you look at the number of Roman Catholics in Italy and compare it to the number of women, you will discover that at least eighty percent of the women on these marches were nuns. So it’s no wonder they hate sex so much.

As Silvio is hounded for having feelings, we must ask ourselves: Do we really want to put another innocent heterosexual out of a job?