THE government has decided to fire 91,000 civil servants who it assumes are completely dispensable layabouts.
The lazy, pointless administrators who do literally nothing will be given the boot without any cost because they are on zero hours contracts without redundancy or pensions, and no one at all will miss them.
A Downing Street spokesman said: “When times are tough, we know what to do: blame the same people we always blame.
“If these people were any good they’d have private sector jobs. Working in the public sector is an admission of failure, incompetence and indolence, unless you’re a Conservative government.
“That’s why we hate doctors, nurses, teachers, the police, and anyone working in the passport office, the home office, the DVLA and HMRC. Get rid of the lot. Who’ll even notice?
“And unless you’re rich you’ll continue paying the same taxes as you do now – more in fact – so the saving to the public is literally nothing even if the service turns out to be much, much worse.”
Civil servant Thomas Logan said: “It’s only logical. We need far fewer government employees now businesses have been left to sort out the f**king awful Brexit mess themselves.”