REFORM UK have confirmed that they will stand only XL Bully candidates in the next general election.
The party, made up of former UKIP members surfing the wave of Brexit’s ongoing wild popularity, have decided only the most dangerous of high street dogs represents their vision for Britain.
Reform UK’s leader, the animated husk of Nigel Farage’s sloughed-off skin which calls itself Richard Tice, said: “We’re suspicious of outsiders, owned by arseholes and mainly attack the vulnerable. A perfect fit.
“Britain is ready for XL Bully MPs. Just like Trumpism, the XL Bully was imported from across the Atlantic but is much loved by good solid British patriots who think everything American is better.
“It’s now as British as the Royal family, as St George, as a non-dom newspaper proprietor. Like Prince Andrew, the XL Bully is inbred, unable to sweat and best kept away from schools.
“The bottom line is: our supporters come from all walks of life but are united by all being people who post weird pro-XL Bully propaganda in a local Facebook group.”
The Reform UK candidate for South Thanet, Biggie Rex, has called for the repeal of the Dangerous Dogs Act, better provision of public parks, and mandatory gun ownership.