‘APRIL Fool!’ the Tories have announced, ‘The last 13 years were just a big prank! We’re starting governing seriously from now on!’
The Conservatives have revealed that everything from David Cameron becoming prime minister onwards, including austerity, Brexit, Boris Johnson, the cost-of-living crisis and Liz Truss, were one long elaborate practical joke.
Rishi Sunak, with a grin pasted to his face, said: “Haha! We totally got you! You all thought we were serious!
“It’s been tough keeping a straight face all this time as we got more and more ridiculous. We kept thinking, surely you’ll rumble us. Surely they can’t keep thinking all this is for real.
“But no, you were totally fooled and really believed the venerable Tory party, which has been running this country for more than 200 years, had become an absolute joke that cocked up everything it touched. Well, the joke’s on you!
“Honestly, you should see your faces right now. You really thought Theresa May and her Brexit strops were real? Boris Johnson? You honestly believed Liz Truss was someone who a serious country would put in charge? Hilarious!
“Anyway, joke’s over now and none of the previous 13 years counts. Please vote accordingly in the May elections. Thank you.”