FORMER prime minister Boris Johnson is not only to be removed from Grant Shapps’ photos but from all recorded history.
Work has already begun on eradicating embarrassing evidence that Johnson was ever prime minister and historians believe that by 2025 there will be no trace of his time in power left.
Professor Helen Archer said: “It’s a big task, but we’re helped by the fact that he did very little.
“For example, he did no interviews for the 2019 election, didn’t bother with most of the pandemic press conferences, and launched no policies, so our work’s done for us there.
“We’ve digitally removed him from footage of parliament, replaced him with Piers Morgan for the referendum campaign on the basis that one inexplicably popular twat journalist is as good as another, and burned his Churchill book. It was remaindered anyway.
“What’s helping us is that the public have really embraced the project. They don’t want to remember and they’re eager to pretend it never happened. Especially if they voted for him.”
She added: “Liz Truss? No, I’m sorry, I don’t know who you’re talking about. We’ve not erased her, I’m just drawing a blank.”