THE USA, the country that Britain ended its relationship with the EU to get an amazing trade deal with, is no longer into the idea.
Britain has turned up in America, excited and breathless about having severed all ties with the EU completely down to not even being in a customs union with them anymore, only to find the US has moved on.
Trade secretary Liz Truss said: “What the hell? After that nightmare break-up, they’re not even bothered? They can’t do this.
“All through those post-referendum years it was all flirting about how great Britain was, not like those liberal Europeans. I mean we were being given clear signals. That’s why we rushed things.
“Now suddenly we come over here gagging for that sweet free trade action, having completely stamped all over what was looking back quite a happy relationship, and it’s just ‘No’?
“They won’t even let us in their group chat with Canada and Mexico. They said it ‘just wouldn’t be our thing’ and ‘they really want to explore their Latin American links right now’.
“Oh God we can’t beg Europe to take us back. Not after everything we’ve said. That would be so unbearably humiliating.”