Couple experience political awakening after hearing about Brexit pet passport changes

A DOG-OWNING couple are up in arms about democracy and freedom of movement after hearing that pet passport rules may change.

Martin and Helen Bishop have vowed not to give up fighting for the right to take their two Scottish terriers on extended campervan trips around Europe without quarantining them.

Martin Bishop said: “We’ve never seen ourselves as political, but this is an issue of liberty for Ginger and Muffin.

“I’ve asked my nephew up in London to hold a placard outside Downing Street but he says pet passports are ‘a minor issue’. The younger generation are so disengaged from reality.”

Helen Bishop said: “Our dogs are like our children, except they don’t ask us for money and we love them unconditionally.

“I know some people have axes to grind about free school meals and things, but we’ve always been reasonable citizens. Pet passport changes, on the other hand, make me want to start a revolution.

“This must be how Martin Luther King felt.”

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Woman finally reaches maturity after moving from Frosties to bran flakes

A WOMAN has reached a major milestone in her life after purchasing a box of bran flakes instead of a childish breakfast cereal containing a toy.

Hannah Tomlinson, 32, has exclusively eaten sugar-coated cereals her whole life, but decided to make the switch after her dentist told her she would be a toothless old crone by the time she reached 40.

Tomlinson said: “Growing older is just a continual process of being told by medical professionals to give up the things you enjoy.

“I’m now eating bran, which is apparently full of fibre. They don’t bother with taste as the entire selling point is keeping your bowel movements regular. Tony the Tiger didn’t give a f**k about my bowel movements and that’s how it should be.

“Still, no one’s ever getting me to give up Blue WKD as my drink of choice. Luckily there are zero healthy choices when it comes to getting pissed.”