POPULAR cartoon character Daddy Pig has arrived at work to give an important speech rambling and obviously drunk.
The character, who has always been boastful and convinced of his own brilliance despite copious evidence to the contrary, shocked the Royal Institute of Animal Architects with a bizarre, incoherent speech which appeared to be the result of intoxication.
An attendee said: “He staggered to the podium and started going on about a recent visit to Potato City, which he appeared to think would be of relevance to a group of serious businessmen even though it’s a theme park for children.
“Then he made a joke about ‘buyer’s remorse’ related to his recent marriage to Madame Gazelle, which everyone thought was in bad taste given he’s left Mummy Pig with both kids.
“Then he was silent for two minutes and seemed to have dozed off, then went off on a tangent about his days as champion puddle-jumper, then said ‘Who needs f**king business anyway? Miss Rabbit does every f**king job.’
“Then he urinated on the podium, staggered away to his red car, jumped in, drove it down one hill and up another and into a wall.
“After which he said he’d got over the points he wanted to make and it went over well, and the entire audience fell down on one side laughing uncontrollably.”
