Saturday, 15th August 2020

'Daddy, what's a f**kstick?': Your guide to Brexit profanities

‘SHOWER of twats’, ‘Mr Eurodick’, ‘useless beardy motherfucker squatted on his allotment like a septic toad’. Brexit has spawned a host of new profanities, but are you up-to-date with them all?

‘Pigfucker in a shepherd’s hut’

Descriptor of David Cameron, the prime minister who instigated Brexit, now used for anyone who sets a deeply unpleasant process in motion then legs it.

‘Shit-for-brains C3PO’

Colloquial name for Britain’s prime minister by default, Theresa May.

‘As useless as Boris’s wanking hand’

A reference to the oversexed former foreign secretary’s lack of need to masturbate. Used to describe low-achieving Brexiteers such as David Davis, Liam Fox and Boris Johnson.

‘Dick-triggering Article 50’

Used to describe anyone so impressed with themselves they do something stupid with dire consequences they utterly fail to understand.

‘A Brussels teabag’

Name for any negotiation, for example buying a second-hand car or cancelling your gym membership, in which the negotiator is thoroughly humiliated.

‘Belfast bumgrapes’

Alternative title for the DUP, which were once stuck up a nether region and never thought about but are now a pain in the arse that everything seems to revolve around.

‘Economic auto-sodomy’