Dear 1922 Committee, I know! I wasn’t thinking I’d be back in touch with you so soon either. Sadly, it’s not good news.
I’m afraid it’s about the new prime minister. The one that only got elected at the beginning of this month. It seems that her critics were right when they said she was a f**king nutter.
I didn’t vote for her, I admit – Rishi gave me a spare Bentley – but I didn’t think she could possibly be as crackers as everyone was making out. After all she’s been in cabinet eight years and done jack-shit.
Little mousy woman, awkward public speaker, safe pair of hands, I thought. But it turns out my miscalculation was roughly on the level of Hindenburg appointing Hitler.
We’re not even through September and the pound’s being gangbanged on the international markets, affordable mortgages are more tightly controlled than crack cocaine, and Labour are so far ahead I can’t even see Angela Rayner’s VPL.
I know it will make the Conservatives look like a load of useless f**k-ups if we ditch another leader. I know we’ll lose the next election. Whatever. Compared to Truss, useless f**k-up losers looks pretty damn good.
The Tories are doomed, but we’ve been doomed before. We can make it back. But after two years of Truss there’ll be no Britain to come back to. We’ll be lucky to hold onto Wales.
Please consider this my letter of no confidence, though represented mathematically my confidence is a large negative number constantly adding digits.
Yours, a backbench MP albeit not for much longer.
