Five things to do if you've f**king had it up to here with Brexit

IF you really can’t face any more Brexit bullshit it could be time to make some radical life changes. Here are some suggestions.

Move to Syria

Yes, it’s incredibly dangerous, has been embroiled in a brutal civil war for years and is now mainly rubble, but we’re pretty sure the TV news isn’t bothered about Theresa May or the Irish backstop.

Change sides

If you voted Remain, become an ardent Leaver and vice versa. A change is as good as a rest and you’ll get a whole new perspective. If you voted Remain it will feel great to go “Ha! We won. Live with it!”. Or maybe not.

Run away to sea

Don’t the join the navy because you’ll be too busy ferrying food to Britain and won’t be in any exciting battles. Instead become a pirate, visiting exotic lands for delicacies you can’t get in the UK, eg. Brie.

Volunteer to help colonise Mars

Putting 40 million miles between yourself and BBC Question Time is eminently sensible. On the downside it’s totally barren, you’d never see your family again and you might have to be friends with Elon Musk.

Kill yourself

The only guaranteed way to make it all go away forever. It’s a bit of a high-risk strategy because there might not be a Heaven, and if it does exist they might be having a Brexit too.

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Email sent at 3am offers terrifying glimpse into boss's home life

A LATE-NIGHT email has given office staff a disturbing hint of what their boss’s personal life is like.

Senior manager Tom Booker, 53, messaged his entire office with a rambling missive that has caused serious concern, particularly the attached selfie which suggests he is not wearing trousers.

Employee Nikki Hollis said: “This was a cry for help, albeit one including a detailed explanation of why we need a new holiday booking system.

“We joke about Tom being a workaholic because he’s sent emails at 9pm before. But it’s less funny when you get a deranged epic at 3.22am implying his wife has left him or he’s got a serious drink problem, or both.

“As Tom puts it: ‘You are best team YES what is life is WHAT do women want??? ENLIGHTEN ME!!! sorry had caps lock on Holiday forms ideally with one month’s notice as of now ploose.’”

However Booker said: “Emailing colleagues while enjoying a few glasses of Scotch and leaving phone messages for my wife is just a multi-tasking thing us high-powered bosses do.

“The selfie was merely a light-hearted comment on how the fast-moving modern business world often leaves you without time to put on trousers.”