THE government has triumphantly announced that one small sector of the British economy will not be adversely affected by Brexit.
An impact report found that the fantasy role-playing game industry will suffer no disruption, despite sectors such as manufacturing, finance and agriculture going to shit.
Foreign secretary Dominic Raab said: “This is excellent news for lovers of dice-based tabletop games involving dwarves and completely vindicates our decision to go ahead with Brexit.
“Introverted dweebs can rest assured there will be no shortages of Dungeons & Dragons paraphernalia in the small number of fantasy games shops across the UK. Warhammer will similarly unaffected.
“The niche nature of the industry shields it from economic upheaval. That and the fact that people who buy D&D figures have literally nothing else to spend their money on.”
Games Workshop franchise owner Martin Bishop said: “I was worried I’d have to arrange emergency shipments of small metal orcs, wizards and balrogs from Kenya.
“It’s a huge relief. The only better news I can imagine is finding out I’m going to lose my virginity.”
However economist Donna Sheridan said: “I’m afraid the government has miscalculated. Tariffs and higher raw material costs will mean a single goblin will cost £193.”