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Man who claims to love world cinema mainly likes kung fu and tits

A MAN who enjoys telling people that he has a passion for world cinema actually means he is into gratuitous violence and nudity.

Nathan Muir, aged 32, claims to have given up on the hegemonic paradigm of Western cinema, which enables him to watch graphic fighting and sex scenes without feeling like a weirdo.

Muir said: “World cinema helps me understand different cultures and perspectives in ways that mindless, populist crap like Marvel never could. My friends think they are cinephiles because they like Scorcese and Nolan, but I have a far deeper appreciation of the art form.

“For example, the scene in Gaspar Noé’s Love where the couple actually shag and then the man ejaculates on the camera is about the beauty of intimacy, and definitely not just a way for me to get my jollies that doesn’t involve my wife being angry about what she finds in my search history.

“And experiencing violence on screen tells me so much about the fragility of the human condition. Plus, I had to give up watching WWE because my mates laughed at me, and highly choreographed action scenes in Japanese martial arts movies are the closest I can get.”

Muir’s friend Martin Bishop said: “I don’t know why he can’t just enjoy Star Wars and then jerk off to porn like the rest of us.”